Monday November 23, 2009

Monday,Monday, today is a weird day for me. I feel really stuck in a rut, routine, wanting to go shopping buy tons of new clothes and get out of this house. However, can't! No energy to shop so I look online pretending to shop for Christmas clothes, toys and other fun stuff. Its like the new window shopping for me. Then I close off the website before getting to the shopping cart realizing Heh I got not money either! But all is not lost Ellen is on soon....have I really become a stay at home mom or what! I love when Charley comes home, maybe we will go for a walk around the block today, look at nature enjoy the sun. Its funny how she seems to not even notice my O2 tank and I am the one with the issues, got to love kids I tell ya!

I have been following the Journey of a Lifetime Blog by a young mom with CF named Natalia. I feel connected in a way even though I have no idea who she is, all I know is she is a young mom that WAS awaiting the "call" for new lungs, desperatley wanting to be there for her little one, as I do. Well she got the call this weekend and had the transplant. I swear I never prayed so much for someone than I have for her this weekend. Its strange how a complete stranger can really touch your life as such. I feel it necessary for me to comment on all her posts and I realize that I am not the only one in this situation. Crazy how life is, going from the best times ever to really hanging on for dear life, trying to stay afloat and be positive. I have my mental moments where its hard to stay positive, hard to smile, hard to keep a float, hard not to cry! I am human and I hate having to be limited with what I can and cannot do. Its weird how I hardly think anymore that I have PH all I think of now is that I am going to have a lung transplant PH is second, its a thing of the past, weird.

So word of the day : weird


peace
Shannon